13‑ The Levels of Change

»Sow a thought and you reap an act. Sow an act and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny.«

Charles Reade

Two hundred million years ago various species of large, powerful dinosaurs roamed the earth. Tyrannosaurus rex—the “king of the tyrant lizards”—was about 15 m long and weighed more than eight tonnes. Its enemies trembled when the massive giant approached. Other dinosaurs had dagger‑like spikes or enormous claws. Why does none of these mighty creatures live today? Why did they have to leave the earth after almost 135 million years of dominance? The answer is striking: they were unable to adapt to the changes that took place on earth. Their size and strength were of no use because they could not cope with the falling temperatures over time. In the following millions of years ever new species emerged. Those able to adapt and evolve survived. With the appearance of human beings evolution seems to have reached a new pinnacle. Is it strong arms, protective skin or sharp claws that have enabled us to survive during the last few thousand years? What allows humans to occupy the place once held by the mighty dinosaurs? It is our cognitive abilities. We can acquire knowledge, store it and pass it on to others. That lets us shape our environment so that we can live well in it. Although physically weak, we have conquered the skies and plunged into the depths of the oceans. We build dams that tame mighty rivers, launch rockets to the moon and possess weapons capable of destroying the planet. But does that mean we no longer need to change? Can an individual afford to stand still and refuse to develop further? Definitely not. Our era is characterised precisely by the fact that everything changes faster than ever before. The challenges we face grow day by day—yet at the same time our possibilities for changing our destiny and our planet also grow. And that will remain so in the future.

According to a study by George Anderla, who researched the growth of knowledge, it took 1,500 years for the entire body of human knowledge to double for the first time. Thereafter it doubled in 250 years, then 150, then 50, then 10, then 7 and in our time even every three years. Since the year 0 knowledge has multiplied 8,000‑fold! Lifelong learning and change therefore seem unavoidable if one wants to survive in this world. All the more important is it to have techniques that allow changes to occur very quickly. Do you believe change can only happen slowly and in small steps? Do you think great pain and hard struggle are necessary to alter an old habit? If so, you should definitely work with that belief—as you learned in chapter 3.

If you are able to change in a very short time, you can achieve anything in your life—you could even pluck your own stars from the sky. What stops most people from changing? Do they not know what to do to reach their goal? Have they failed to make a plan? Usually they have, but they lack the power to turn their wishes into actions and finally do what has long been postponed. Ninety percent of all smokers know exactly that smoking is life‑threatening and, according to the World Health Organization, heavy smokers die on average 22 years earlier than non‑smokers—yet they light up again and again. They pollute the environment, force others to inhale their smoke and cause diseases whose consequences swallow billions. Why do they do it? Because they feel pleasure when smoking? Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Did you enjoy the first one? Probably not—our body does not particularly like poison. Yet many people manage, with great effort, to perceive this poison as a pleasure and connect incredible advantages with the habit. Is that not proof of the brain’s fantastic possibilities? Smokers ingest a toxin and feel cool, free, sexy—or whatever advertising suggests. Eventually many feel addicted and at the mercy of nicotine. The immediate positive consequences of smoking outweigh the massive long‑term disadvantages. An interesting therapeutic approach for people who want to become non‑smokers involves negotiating a contract that entails severe negative consequences if it is broken. This therapy works astonishingly well—yet only as long as the contract runs. Afterward many start smoking again. If you know someone who thinks he cannot live a single day without cigarettes, hold a gun to his head for one day and say: “If you take even one puff, I’ll shoot.” He will probably avoid smoking—the associated pain would simply be too great. Pleasure and pain rule our lives. We do things we expect to bring us pleasure and avoid things that cause pain.

“Your destiny is determined by what you associate with pain and pleasure.”

Anthony Robbins

Are you one of those people who postpone their tax return for months until the very last deadline, when the thought of losing a lot of money finally hurts enough to get you moving? Do you leave an unsatisfying relationship immediately, or do you often need a long time before you take the plunge? Many people delay such a decision because the thought of being alone is much worse than the burdens of the relationship—until the relationship becomes truly unbearable. Only then does the pain grow bigger and they decide to end it. If you want to take control of your life you must become an advertising executive for your own brain! Wrest power away from television, radio, newspapers and the people around you who bombard you unfiltered with their associations. You must not leave it to others to link certain things in your brain with happiness, joy or pain if you want to awaken your dream. Take the helm of your ship yourself and connect what you truly want—your dreams, your wishes—with such strong positive associations that every fibre of your body and every nerve cell of your brain can feel that happiness. That creates irresistible motivation for any change and expansion of your potential. Link every stumbling block placed in your path with the exciting feeling that you are being especially challenged again, that it is enjoyable to clear stones out of the way. By removing one stone after another, soon nothing will be able to stop you. Success won overnight often fades at dawn. Success achieved through the power of your personality lasts forever. It is no accident but the result of persistent work on yourself. Advertise in your brain for your dream and the behaviours that will awaken it, using radiant images, intense feelings and wonderful sounds. At the same time link massive pain to doing things that keep you from realising your dream. For many people pain is a greater motivator than pleasure: they do certain tasks to avoid unpleasant consequences. They study for an exam so as not to fail, or work hard in their job because they want to escape their present standard of living. This is called “away‑from motivation.” Other people move toward happiness, success, fame, recognition and joy— a “toward motivation.” Both kinds of motivation can yield great success if used deliberately.

People often ask me, “By when can I complete this change?” My usual answer is: “How much time are you willing to give yourself?” You can implement changes in your life very quickly. You do not need to wait years until you are finally “ready.”

“We were born to live, not to prepare for life.”

Boris Pasternak

Do not waste years waiting for changes to occur when you can make them right away. A small change in one area of our life can set other changes in motion. It may be only the first step, but it can give life an entirely new direction—like a rocket whose new engine is ignited. Compare the two lines below and imagine they are life‑lines.

At first they run almost parallel, but after a while the differences become increasingly clear. If you mentally extend the lines beyond the edge of the page, you will find that soon one line has nothing in common with the other. A small deviation, a new impulse, a new idea caused a change that dramatically influenced the future. Even after a short time small differences in two people’s lives have dramatic effects. Small changes are worthwhile because they are the first steps toward a limitless life. Soon, due to the new situation or new skills, you will receive further suggestions and ideas that give you the chance to go another step further. In this way you gradually leave your original track.

Small changes become reference experiences and influence our beliefs about ourselves and our limits. That in turn affects our actions—we create new reference experiences that spur us on even more and further increase our belief in our possibilities. You can therefore never know how close to the stars a change will lead you. Think of the examples from the earlier chapters. Do you think Karol Wojtyła, when changing his life’s goal from actor to priest, knew that he would one day be Pope John Paul II? And yet a seemingly small change caused his life to take a completely different course.

According to chaos theory, the flap of a butterfly’s wings on the other side of the globe can trigger storms here. Small changes can produce immeasurably large differences! That is why changes must always take into account the systems in which they occur. As a human being you do not live in isolation. All changes you implement in your life have effects on the people around you—your family, friends, work and society. Therefore you must always keep an eye on the effects on that system when working on personal changes. What side‑effects will arise when you achieve your goals? What will await a shy woman who, through the techniques described here, becomes self‑confident, open and joyful when she returns home to a husband who expects her first and foremost to look after the household and children? Will he welcome the change or think: This is not the woman I married? Changes can lead to conflicts with the environment; such undesirable side‑effects must therefore always be considered and factored in advance. When you change yourself you change the system around you.

Likewise you must also consider your own internal system. A small change in one area of your life can set far‑reaching consequences in motion in other areas—or it can be immediately reversed against your wishes if it is not in harmony with your overall system. You may have exerted tremendous effort to bring about the change, yet it is as if you are pulling with all your might on a door that only opens inward. If you do not take into account inner reservations and objections, you will waste a lot of energy before reaching your goal. To bring about change in your own system you can start on many different levels; the most consistent way, however, is to address them all. Influence not only your personality, beliefs, values and reference experiences but—if possible—also change your environment, begin to alter your behaviour and acquire new competences at the same time. Align these four areas—your personality, competences, behaviour and environment—toward your dream or vision. In this book you have learnt methods for mastering each of these areas. Now it is time to bring them all together in the levels of change.

The levels of change are environment, behaviour, competence, personality and dream.

The highest level of change is our dream, our life vision. This vision gives your life meaning. From it develops an idea of your desired personality: who do you want to be? How do you want to live? All further levels align to it. If you change your dream you will likely have to make changes on all the other levels as well.

The top step leading to the dream I call personality. These are your central beliefs, values and life rules. This system is often regarded as very rigid and hardly changeable, yet precisely this rigidity can hinder us from becoming who we want to be—the personality necessary to bring our dream to fulfilment. That is why I urged you to become a dynamic personality. You have learnt about the pillars of your belief system and how you can influence one belief after another so that your beliefs become powerful allies. All other changes are useless if you do not believe you can reach your dream. You have also learnt how to align your values and life rules toward your dream so that they optimally support you on your path.

Below the personality level comes competence. It contains all skills, abilities and strategies you possess to push aside obstacles on your path to the dream. Competence is necessary so that your behaviour is purposeful and your resources are used sensibly. The level of behaviour comprises all concrete actions you perform. Behaviour is likewise a crucial factor for success: you can be utterly convinced that you will reach your dream and also possess the necessary competence, but if you do not start acting, nothing will happen. Only through your actions can you apply your abilities and play out the strengths of your personality.

By environment we mean everything that surrounds us. It forms the foundation of your success staircase because you cannot live isolated from your environment. You need other people in order to develop at all and to survive. Likewise you need objects and suitable places to accomplish your tasks. If you want to write a book you need a pen and paper; ideally you have a computer or at least a typewriter. You must also have a place to write if it rains. To live in our era you also need information. Our environment changes at a dramatic speed. You cannot withdraw into your study for ten years hoping afterward to surprise the world with an invention—you would be neglecting one of your most valuable aids: information from others. If you want to influence other people’s lives you need information about what they need and how they think. If you want to launch a new product you must know what the market holds. If you want to survive in a wild jungle you must know what dangers lurk and how to meet them. People, objects, places and information are external resources. By resource in the broadest sense I mean anything that can help you realise your dream. External resources are therefore aids or tools.

Internal resources arise from our past experiences. They are inner sources of strength such as humour, joy, hope, creativity or the tremendous powers of your unconscious. The more resources you have the easier it will be to storm up the staircase. If you have only few resources you must first create or expand them through your behaviour and abilities. That is why this book has placed so much emphasis on discovering, creating and using as many resources as possible.

Suppose your dream is an expedition across the Sahara Desert. Your personality supports this dream: you believe it makes sense and will be fun. Adventure is one of your highest values. All external resources already exist around you: there are people, at certain places there is equipment, and somewhere in a library or computer there is an abundance of information about the desert that could be useful to you. Resources therefore exist in sufficient measure; what matters now is to make them usable. If you want to win other people for your expedition it would be advantageous to possess the competence of speaking. If you have no money or other incentives available to recruit expedition members you should have good contact and persuasion skills. To obtain your equipment you must go to a particular place, which presupposes that you are able to move. You also need money—and should know how to handle it. To use information about the desert sensibly you probably need to be able to read, analyse problems and draw logical conclusions, and so on. In dealing with external resources you therefore need certain abilities. You do not necessarily have to possess all those abilities yourself: it would suffice if you are able to convince others of your plans and inspire them. They can then contribute their abilities to help you. Your dealings with other people are thus extremely important and may spare you from acquiring many other skills.

If there are resistances to the desired changes, the model presented offers two possible explanations. First, there may be conflicts within a single level: for example, you may have to choose between two behaviours and not know how to act. Second, conflicts may exist between different levels: for instance, you may be highly competent at helping and conversing with others but believe that you are wasting your time because you cannot earn money with this ability, so you decide to stop. Such conflicts can sabotage you and cause the changes made to be unconsciously reversed. Old behaviour simply creeps back in because it seems more useful to the overall system and certain levels were not included in the change.

Your changes will be powerful and lasting if you consider and address all levels of change. Plant the desired change both in your conscious and in your unconscious mind—the techniques for this you already know. Also use the dimension of time, whose effect you have learned through the time‑line exercises. Past experiences can paralyse us or serve as reference experiences; they can encourage or depress us. The future can worry us or spur us on. If you can easily adopt different viewpoints and thus gather as much information as possible, you can learn far more easily from all life situations and experiences. For this purpose you have learned various perceptual positions and mentors. That should allow you to experience every situation in many ways and give you the support you need for your changes.