11‑ The Driving Force of Goals

»If a man does not know to what port he is sailing, no wind is favourable.«

Seneca

If you are on a ship that is heading in the wrong direction, you can run back and forth on deck as much and as quickly as you like—until you turn the wheel you will never reach your destination. If you do not define your goals clearly, you can work every day as hard and as fast as you want; you will never end up where you want to be. For this reason it is so important that you discover your life’s dream. You must know in which harbour your journey is to end. Have you found your life’s dream? Do you know where your journey is going? If not, return to the chapter “In the Beginning Was the Dream” and do the exercises there. The time you invest in those exercises will be repaid a thousand‑fold. You cannot work on your dream too often.

You now know your big dream and thus the rough direction you want to go. To reach the harbour, however, you must at some point decide on a specific course. Then you need to set very precise waypoints that allow you to check whether you are on the right track. Eventually you have to leave the land and dare to venture out to sea, where you will have to make minor course corrections to avoid obstacles, skirt sandbanks and occasionally take new provisions on board. Perhaps a violent storm will briefly obscure your vision so that the next day you have to realign the ship to the harbour—your dream. Many small decisions have to be made every day that could not be foreseen at the start of the journey. Of course it was nevertheless absolutely right to begin the voyage in the confidence of a smooth passage, in the firm belief that you would overcome any obstacles and arrive safely.

The big dream is often too abstract and complex to reach all at once. It is therefore often necessary to set smaller intermediate goals.

How have you done this so far? How have you broken down your big dream into small sub‑goals and split it into attainable, easily controllable targets?

This point is absolutely critical! It is here that it is decided whether you have a dream—or whether you are just dreaming. Do you simply enjoy lying down a little and dreaming about how it would be if…? Then you have probably stopped at this point and not taken a single step towards realisation. If, on the other hand, you have the burning desire to live your dream, you have also thought about the first steps that lead to that dream. And perhaps you have already begun to take those first steps, because even a great world trip always begins with the first small step outside your own front door. Think of Neil Armstrong—before he could step onto the moon he had to take a step outside his own front door several days earlier. Indeed, years before that he had to step into a school. Between those two events lie countless intermediate steps and goals that had to be achieved before the dream could become reality. Therefore set small intermediate goals! Be aware that each of these milestones is a step on the path to the great success. Pursue every goal, no matter how small, with the same motivation and enthusiasm with which you are determined to commit yourself to your dream. On the following pages you will learn how to

turn big dreams into realistic goals,
formulate those goals so irresistibly that they exert a magnetic pull on you, consciously and unconsciously,
anchor your new future deep within yourself

Learn now a strategy that will help you plan your goals very successfully and think them through carefully.

The Walt‑Disney Strategy

This strategy goes back to Walt Disney, the co‑founder of the world‑famous Disney Company. Disney was a man of highly developed dreams and visions. He grew up in a rather poor family and had to contribute to the livelihood of the family as a small boy. When he returned from World War I at the age of 19, his fiancée had married another man. Thus he found himself without a fiancée, without money, without housing, without a job and without special talents. What remained were his visions and dreams.

These gave him the strength to open a studio and produce cartoons. No one wanted to see the first Mickey Mouse films—but his vision gave him no rest. In the following years he overcame every obstacle and thus laid the foundation for a gigantic empire with amusement parks, hotels, film companies and an immense number of comic books sold.

How did Walt Disney manage to turn his visions and dreams into concrete, attainable goals? What strategy did he use? Walt Disney separated three different phases of goal‑setting and distinguished them precisely from each other both spatially and temporally. These phases or positions were: the creative dreamer, the realistic planner and the constructive critic. For each of these three positions Walt Disney used a different room, whose furnishings also helped him enter a mental state favourable to that position.

As I now introduce the individual steps of this strategy, read through them once to understand the overall sequence. Then return to step 1 and carry out each step at leisure with one of your goals. You will need plenty of time and peace! Make sure you actually do this exercise! Choose one of your major goals and write it down:

1. Mark three different spots in the room or in your home. If you have enough space, you can also use three separate rooms. Decorate the first room with bright colours, cloths, flowers, soft cushions or other items that help you achieve a creative, inspiring state. Ideally it is a whirlpool with wonderful music in the background and a recorder to capture your ideas.

The second room is for the realistic planner and should contain everything necessary for that purpose: a planner, calendar, address book, calculator, notepad, pen and plenty of information. In the room of the constructive critic you should place a hard chair and perhaps glasses through which you can cast a critical eye on your plan once more. Go through the following positions fairly quickly to gain an initial impression of this strategy.

2. Take the position of the dreamer. In principle you have already done this in several chapters of this book. Recall a situation in which you were creative and imaginative. Put yourself in that mood. If that is difficult, think of someone who is often creative and consider how that person does it. It is important that you truly reach a state in which dreaming and creating ideas is easy. Go for it now! Develop dreams, crazy ideas and out‑of‑the‑box goals. Hold a huge brainstorming session and collect everything on a large sheet, a strip of old wallpaper or a cassette. Do you remember the film you shot in the chapter “The Film of Life”? There you saw, felt and heard yourself on the way to the great triumph of your life. Did you transform the moment of fulfilment with all your imagination into a gigantic event? Can you feel that moment of completion again now? Use that energy and creativity for this position.

3. Leave the dreamer’s position and take a brief mental break. Set a separator.

4. Now take the position of the realistic planner. Recall a time when you were easily able to plan realistically and carefully, or think of someone who does so very well. Choose one of the dreamer’s ideas that you now want to plan. Think about the idea.

How can you realise this idea?
Which steps are necessary?
In what order must they be taken?
How long will it take until the goal is achieved?
What intermediate goals are conceivable?

5. Leave the planner’s position and set another separator.

6. Take the position of the constructive critic. Recall a time or situation in which you were constructive and critical, recognised obstacles and objections early and knew exactly where the strengths and weaknesses of a plan lay—or think of a person who possesses this ability. Where do you feel you now have access to that feeling? Put yourself in this mood. Look at the result of the dreamer and the planner. Feel it and develop a sense for the plan.

Where is something still missing?
What has not yet been considered?
Can you reach your goal with this plan?

If changes or refinements are necessary, run through the various positions until the critic agrees with the goal and its implementation. You can also change the sequence—for example, go from critic to planner if the basic ideas are clear but the implementation is not yet ecological; or go from planner back to dreamer because the dream simply cannot be implemented and you need more precise instructions, and so on. Play around with this model a little.

In my experience the most important thing is to keep the positions clearly separate so that your critic does not immediately have the opportunity to shake your plan at its foundations. Every idea we have immediately goes through a killer phase and most ideas do not survive this phase, although on closer inspection they might be sensible. With the Walt‑Disney strategy you avoid this danger and manage to implement your own fairy‑tales in your life in an ecological and well‑thought‑out way. In the further course of this chapter it will be necessary to run through these three positions again and again. I want merely to give you a basic framework here; adapt it to your individual purposes. If during the exercises you need another surge of motivation, then go into the dreamer’s position and watch an outstanding video of your success. If you have the impression that you are drifting off all the time, then let the critic have his say—he will bring you back down to earth. Try to maintain a certain balance between these two positions.

Now return to step 1 and begin the process with your goal. Use the blank lines to sketch your thoughts, answer the questions of each position and record the result at the end. Begin each note by writing the position you are currently in, e.g. Dreamer

Well‑formed Goals

If you do not manage to word your goals so precisely that they are fully clear to you, consciously and unconsciously, at any time, you will waste your energy! Perhaps you know this: you have firmly resolved to lose weight, stick to a private fitness programme or take an hour every evening just for your children. You are determined to keep this behaviour up for a longer period—say a month. The first few days it works wonderfully, but after three days you skip for the first time: something unexpected has come up. On the fourth day you continue with your plan, but gradually it begins to fall asleep. Suddenly you no longer really remember your goal and at the end of the month you find that somehow it did not go as planned. “But what does it matter,” you think. “I more or less achieved my goal anyway.” Or: “I can always make it up.” Have you not experienced something similar?

Did you really formulate your goal clearly and distinctly? Did you perhaps leave loopholes somewhere that a lazy part of you is all too happy to exploit and now puts forward as an excuse? You will now learn the criteria that ensure that a goal you set motivates you and is also achieved by you. Practise applying the criteria by taking all the intermediate goals you worked out with the Walt‑Disney strategy.

1. Positive wording of goals: Make sure you imagine what you actually want to achieve. As with autosuggestion our subconscious does not understand the word “not.” Therefore do not imagine the behaviour or situations you want to avoid, but always what you want to move toward. In this way you simultaneously create a “toward orientation” that increases your motivation. Do not formulate in terms of an “away‑from motivation.” Avoid comparisons.

Examples of poorly formed goal definitions:

I do not want to fail my exam. (negation)
I will be more open towards other people. (comparison)
I will do more for my health. (comparison)

My positively worded intermediate and main goals:

2. Under your own control: The goal should be maintained and achieved by you yourself. Achieving it should lie within your possibilities and your responsibility. Through your personal activity you must increase the chance of achieving the goal.

Examples of poorly formed goal definitions:

I will win a million in the lottery.
My employees will sell 50 insurance policies next month.
My goal is that others show me love. (The brain does not learn what must happen inside the person himself to obtain others’ love.)

Examples of well‑formed goal definitions:

I will fill in the lottery ticket regularly and make sure I hand it in, thereby taking my chance of a win.
I will hold three seminars next week to motivate my employees so that they can sell 50 policies next month.
I have reached my goal when a feeling of inner peace flows through me, I have a warm, pleasant feeling in my stomach and I see bright, radiant pictures in my head.

My positively worded and self‑achievable intermediate and main goals:

3. Size: If you choose a goal that is too large, there is the danger of feeling overwhelmed before you even tackle it. On the other hand, you will not take goals that are too small seriously enough to execute them conscientiously; you may feel under‑challenged. Find the golden mean. Break down large, overwhelming goals into small sub‑goals and formulate higher‑level goals for very small targets. Adjust your goals to the size that is right for you.

4. Concrete and specific: Control of your goals is especially important. If you do not manage to formulate your goal so that you can check its achievement or non‑achievement, then you do not have a goal. Only if you describe a goal concretely and in sensory‑specific terms will you know whether and when you have achieved it. Only then can you control the achievement of your goals. If you phrase your goal like “I want to have more money,” that is not specific enough. You have already achieved your goal if you have even one cent more than before. Remember: you get what you ask for. To ensure your goal is concrete and specific, the following questions help:

How will I notice that I have achieved my goal?
What will I see, hear and feel when I have achieved it?
How will I look and how will I move?
What will I be doing once I have reached it?
In what context will I achieve my goal? Does that context fit? Where, when, how, with whom do I want it?
Wrong: I want to be calm and relaxed all the time.
Correct: I want to be calm whenever it is appropriate.
Wrong: I want to live more healthily.
Correct: I will do 15 minutes of exercises every day and eat fruit in the morning.

5. Resources: Take stock of your resources and aids.

Which resources are already available for me to reach my goal?

Which resources are still missing for me to reach my goal?

How will I obtain the missing resources?

6. Consequences: Set your goals so that they are appropriate for you, your family and the whole planet. In any case you should also consider the consequences of reaching your goal. It may be that there are not only positive effects but also some that need to be taken into account so they do not affect you negatively. Ask yourself the following questions:

What effects will it have on the environment (my partner, family, job, friends, country) when I reach my goal?

Three possible consequences are …

To prevent these consequences, the following ideas occur to me…

What will not happen when I have reached my goal?

What will happen if I do not reach it?

What will not happen if I do not get it?

Start now to establish two anchors for every goal you set and work with. Use one as a mental anchor—this could be a colour, a smell, a sound, a feeling or a keyword in memory. The other anchor should actually exist: perhaps a small slip of paper with a keyword, an object on your desk, a picture, or a yellow dot on your watch. Make sure you see this anchor every day! The dot on the watch is particularly helpful, because you look at the watch several times a day. You can also place small notes throughout your home—in the bathroom, kitchen, on the bedside table, in the fridge, etc.—that remind you of your goal.

My 1st anchor:

My 2nd anchor:

You should observe these six well‑formedness criteria for all goals in future. With a little practice you will automatically check every new goal against these criteria and reformulate accordingly.

The Time‑Line

We will now take care of the dimension of time. When will you live your dream? When will fulfilment come? In 25 years, in 20, in 10 or in 5 years? Perhaps your whole life is one dream. When will you be at the peak of your life?

Discover your inner time‑line with me now. This time‑line consists of the totality of your past and future experiences. These experiences are stored within us and shape our personality. The time‑line is a method of coding past, present and future inside you so that you can distinguish them. That way you know which events have already happened and which are yet to come. From our language we can glean valuable clues about how we—or others—organise time. Some say “we will look back on that with joy,” “we still have hard work ahead of us,” “leave that experience behind you.” Possibly such descriptions can be taken literally.

First find out how you yourself perceive time. If you could point to the past, where would it be? Where would the future be? Try to pin the past to a point in space. Is it in front of you, behind you, left, right, above or below? Where is it? And where is your future? Connect the two points with a line. That is your time‑line. If you are one of the few people for whom this question is not enough to discover your time‑line, then remember a time when you were 15 years old, or an event from last week, and identify from which direction the event comes. In the same way, find an event that lies in the future. One distinguishes two kinds of time‑lines: for a person whose line runs from front to back (or otherwise passes through the body) we say he lives “in time.” He stands on his time‑line and lives in his experiences. Such people tend to be caught in the moment; delays and lateness do not bother them. If, however, you want to immerse yourself completely in a moment you should be “in time.” The way your time‑line is arranged determines how you experience and deal with time. Another classic arrangement is called “through time.” Here the time‑line runs from left to right or right to left; the crucial thing is that the entire line lies in front of the person. This could even be shaped like a “V.” People with a “through‑time” arrangement have their whole lives planned in advance. They know exactly what they want and experience time as ordered, linear and sequential. They attempt to schedule time and work with a time‑system. Sometimes “in‑time” people also use such systems, but they do not particularly like them. If you want to plan your time, you should be in the “through‑time” state and not “in‑time.” You should then detach yourself from your memories and float above your time‑line.

A plausible explanation for the increased occurrence of “through‑time” orientation in Western countries is the impact of the Industrial Revolution. This made it necessary for people to show up for work punctually. Work was performed in assembly‑line rhythm and thus contributed to the awareness of time as a linear process. One activity after another had to be carried out in a fixed order. Between these two extremes there is a whole range of combinations. Each has a different effect on the perception of time.

In‑Time	Through‑Time
Part of the line lies behind the person	The whole line lies in front of the person
usually associated	usually dissociated
time is non‑linear	time is linear
often unpunctual, because time is not heeded	punctual
work time and leisure often the same	time has value
wants to keep options open; spontaneous, delays decisions	lives an orderly, regulated, planned life
can easily just “be”	finds it hard to just “be”

Take some time for the following exercise. In your mind float above your time‑line, very high. See your line beneath you. View the entire continuum of your experiences like a string of pearls, one next to the other. Now move slowly into the future to the end of your time‑line. Stay there for a while and look around. Then turn back and go into your past to the beginning of your time‑line. Then return to your starting point. Could you remember experiences from when you were sixteen, when you were ten, when you were five? Did you think of anything you had not thought about for a long time? Investigate what the difference is between experiences of the past and those of the future. Now take the goal you are currently working with and make a picture of it or a short video sequence. Change the colour, brightness and size until the scene becomes irresistible. Now take this scene and hover above your time‑line. Carry the scene to the point by which it is to be fulfilled and let it drop between the other images. Watch how all the events necessary for that future, which lie between now and that point in your future, are created.

Notice how one cog meshes with another and produces the result you want. Do you observe how the structure of your time‑line changes? Then return to the present. With this technique you can programme your future for success. At this point we need to pause for a moment. Time‑line techniques are not toys but highly effective therapeutic methods. If you know—or even suspect—that there are critical experiences or traumas in your past, such as rape, child abuse or similar events, then do not apply these techniques on your own. Seek professional help—preferably an experienced therapist with whom you feel comfortable and who can accompany you in using the time‑line techniques and resolving the traumas of your past. It is no disgrace to consult a therapist or take a few therapy sessions.

On the contrary: for most people it is a genuine expansion of their experience of the world and their way of dealing with problems and worries. You have nothing to lose but much to gain!

Transforming the Past

In the next exercise you will embark on a journey into your past. There you will clean up everything that still stands in your way of reaching your goals and prevents you from being successful. These may be experiences or situations that have shaped your belief system so strongly that you are still limited by them today and do not dare to overcome those boundaries.

Relax and once again float high above your time‑line. View the line in peace. Are there any gaps anywhere? Or is the line continuous? Is it uniformly bright or dark everywhere, or is the colouring uneven? Are there large dark sections? Dark areas often indicate pain and sorrow. We have to expend energy to repress these experiences. But that energy could be useful for achieving our current goals. In this way the past slows us down.

Once again float above your time‑line. Go to the beginning of the line. Imagine over your head an infinite source of love and healing. This source flows down through your head into your heart. Make sure it spreads in your heart and then let it continue into the time‑line, where it systematically spreads and heals all further experiences. Let it flow into the time‑line and thus heal all the smaller traumatic events. Everything is flooded with this energy. Allow it to fill everything with strength and healing. Observe how your time‑line becomes brighter and brighter. Let the energy flow on, beyond the present into the future, ever further and further… Then return to the now and open your eyes.

Go inside and ask yourself whether you really want your goal—or whether there are still objections. If there are objections you can use the negotiation reframing you have already learned to assign parts to those objections, find the higher intention and conduct a negotiation.

Dealing with Feelings of Guilt

Feelings of guilt also prevent us from reaching our goals. Guilt is truly one of the worst stumbling blocks on the path to a healthy and happy personality. If we assume that we do what seems most appropriate and best for us in every situation, then we need not reproach ourselves for not having done it differently and thereby avoided unpleasant consequences. We decided on what seemed best to us. And yet in childhood we are constantly trained to feel guilty for everything we have done or “caused.” I think “responsible” is the right word. When I was sixteen I learned from a man that one should confess only what one really feels guilty of. I then went through my long list of confessions and, after some thought, struck out every single item. I had indeed done some mischief and caused other people trouble (I thought back then that I was responsible for others’ feelings!), but basically it was, given the situation, the most appropriate behaviour I could imagine. I had not even had a choice. I did not feel guilty about that! I had simply done what I thought was right. I do not want to deny that there are situations in which it might be right to feel guilty. But what is the point of still feeling guilty and miserable years later—at the memory of an incident that is long forgotten and over?

Remember something from your past you still feel guilty about—even now. Do you want to get rid of this guilt? Once again float high above your time‑line and go back to that event and a bit further back so that you are now 15 minutes before it begins. Ask the part in you that is responsible for learning processes to find out what there is to learn in this situation and to store the learning at an appropriate place. Everything you learn here should help you to reach your goals. I consider this step very important. Make it a principle, even with other time‑line techniques, that you always ensure you can retain what you have learned.

With the knowledge that you have learned everything useful from this situation, you can forget your feelings of guilt. You do not need them anymore! Now turn around and look towards the “Now.” Look for a moment at this event in which you felt guilty and ask yourself: where is the guilt? Is it in front of you or is the guilt gone? In most cases the guilt will now disappear. If it has not yet, then a part of you needs a reframing. That part may still think it makes sense to have a feeling of guilt. Find the good intention and explain to that part that there are better ways to achieve the desired outcome. You can now experience the event emotionally balanced. Your guilt does not exist outside the time context. It is completely useless there.

Dealing with Fears

Fear is a feeling that projects into the future. Guilt tends to point towards the past. Anyone with pronounced fears becomes paralysed and is unable to achieve in the future what he desires. You can programme your future yourself and do not have to tolerate fearful situations spreading across your line. Experience yourself as you successfully get through the event you fear. Go to a point that is about one minute after you have overcome the fear. Turn around and look at the event and further back at the present. Now—where is the fear? Observe how the fear simply disappears. But first check whether perhaps it is the fear that motivates and drives you. In that case it would not be sensible to get rid of it. However, it would then be appropriate for you to find other means of motivation. Once again hover above your time‑line and pick an insignificant experience from your past. Remove this memory completely from your time‑line, hold it in front of you and push it far away; let it become darker and fly away until it dissolves. The hole that now appears in your time‑line can be closed with a new, invented memory. Insert it in the right place. You should definitely close the gap again, because otherwise your brain will recreate the erased event.

With the help of the time‑line you can change your past. What is particularly effective about this kind of change is that one change sets a whole chain of changes in motion. Replacing a past memory causes numerous other memories connected with it to change. In this way you can dramatically change your personality.

Transforming the Future

We are approaching one of my favourite exercises. Now you may slip into your dream again. I hope that in the course of this book you have discarded false modesty and conjured up great dreams within you that put you into joyful excitement just thinking of their fulfilment. You have already shot a small video about your life path. You know how to change sub‑modalities and thus make the film even more attractive. You also know the effect of an associated versus a dissociated state. Now relate this video to the time‑line. Take your magnificent success experience and place it on the time‑line at the point where you want to achieve it. Associate yourself into this scene. Feel your body and perceive what there is to perceive. Bring the image close to you so that your feelings are the most intense. Also change the other sub‑modalities until the scene becomes maximally attractive for you. Then step out of the picture or film and look at it from the outside. Turn towards the “Now” and observe how the entire time‑line changes and aligns to achieve this goal. Return to “Now” and look into the future. See your goal with the awareness that this is only the beginning and that much greater goals await you farther in the future.

Programming your future with the time‑line creates an image of success so clear that your brain will not forget these images. Repeat these exercises as often as you like and fall in love with your goals!